Church bulletin:
Criticism is a part of life. It can be defined as – the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of faults or mistakes (real or perceived). One of the criticisms made of young people today is that they cannot take criticism. Disagree with them and they refer to hate speech, feeling unsafe, not included and not welcome. Criticism can be constructive when done the right way with the intention to correct and to build up. Prov 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Criticism can also be destructive when the aim is to put someone in their place by pulling them down. Prov 12:18, “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.”
While criticism is necessary and useful it can also do a great deal of harm. The word itself has negative connotations – to criticize is to be critical, in other words looking for fault, nitpicking, judgmental, harsh. That may not be the case, but it certainly has the potential to be the case. We all naturally find fault with other people. With this mind, when we are critical of someone and especially if we intend to express it, let us ask the following questions.
Do we pray for this person. It is easy to criticize; it takes effort and concern to pray. Maybe our criticism has as much to say about us as it does the other person. If we truly care as we should, though we are irritated or offended, we will still pray for them. It could be the case that after regular prayer the issue is not as big as it had been. When we pray for others in light of difficulties, it is not only for their good, it is also for our good. Prayer may help to change them and it may help to change us.
Are we mortifying our own sins. This is the lesson of Matt 7:1-5, “Judge not, that you be not judged. (2) For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. (3) And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? (4) Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? (5) Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” It is hypocrisy to point out faults in others while not addressing our own. God hates it.
Does the issue warrant our criticism. What do we actually want to achieve – to address a problem and help someone or to simply vent, make ourselves feel good by putting them in their place. In a similar vein, is the strength of our criticism in proportion to the issue. A “one ton” issue does not require a “ten ton” response. If criticism is warranted it must be conveyed in a reasonable and understanding way.
How do we take criticism. It has been my experience in church life, the most opinionated and outspoken people are the most sensitive. If you are not prepared to genuinely listen to someone when they raise a concern, do not imagine others should listen to you. The biblical maxim “it is more blessed to give than receive” does not apply to criticism and those ever willing to dish it out. Always remember, the one on the receiving end has a right to reply. Your opinion may be wrong and actually open the door for some criticism to come your way.
If we must criticize, so be it. But let us not be critical in a spiteful sense. Let us criticize out of concern and goodwill remembering that we too have weaknesses and failures. Let our words be bathed in prayer.